In the News
Ezra 3 Project funds church improvements
By Mary Stamp
Full Story Here: https://thefigtree.org/feb26/020126emmanuelpresby.html
Soon after Alyssa Bell began as half-time minister at Emmanuel Presbyterian Church in February 2023, the church joined the Ezra 3 Project of the Presbytery of the Inland Northwest (PIN), as part of a multi-year $800,000 Lilly Endowment Thriving Congregations Initiative grant.
Emmanuel, a 31-member church that considers itself "small but mighty" brought confidence from that belief into participating in an Ezra 3 Project cohort with four other Presbyterian churches of fewer than 50 members. Those churches are Lidgerwood, Spirit Lake, Reardan and Korean Presbyterian.
Committed to serving its neighbors in the Emerson Garfield and West Central neighborhoods and committed to continuing as a church, Emmanuel Presbyterian joined the other small churches in their cohort who share those commitments. They explored how to use $10,000 seed money from the Ezra Project to make improvements in their building to meet community needs.
They engaged in a study on the theme, "Rooted Good," to discern ways to steward their spaces for the good of the community, such as finding other people and groups to use their buildings to gain an additional stream of income without losing their identity as a church.
"We have learned from each other. Despite differences in our buildings and congregations, we have commonalities. We have talked about what works and what does not work. We have learned that we are not alone and God is working in our places," said Alyssa.
The process also includes churches meeting with neighbors to help them as a church discover new uses for their properties both to have an impact in their community and to help their churches thrive as they do that.
"I have been drawn to love the community and humanity of the local church," said Alyssa, whose ability to serve half-time and support her family frees her to lead the church to solidify its income so it can continue to be a sacred space and to serve their neighbors.
She also works as a certified spiritual director and as an adjunct instructor at Portland Seminary and Whitworth University. Her husband, Matthew Bell, teaches computer science at Whitworth.
Alyssa's journey to this ministry began when she grew up in Shadle Park Presbyterian Church two miles north of Emmanuel. She studied theology and music at Whitworth, where she earned a bachelor's degree in 2005. While serving next as director of music at Mountain View Presbyterian in Marysville, Wash., she confirmed her call to ministry and began seminary at Fuller Northwest Extension at Seattle Pacific University.
In 2009, she started at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary, earning a master of divinity degree in 2011 before moving back to Spokane.
Alyssa started as music director at Community Presbyterian in Post Falls and then she and Matthew served as co-associate ministers at Shadle Park and Community Presbyterian. Working part-time, she completed a doctor of ministry in leadership and spiritual formation online with Portland Seminary in 2021.
Those studies not only provided the path to teaching but also give her insights needed in the ministry at Emmanuel Presbyterian.
"It matters to be in community in a local church. It's what we are to be as disciples of Christ," she said.
For Alyssa, the key strengths of Emmanuel Presbyterian is its mix of theological and political beliefs, and the commitment of members to be a faith community that is journeying together through their lives.
"At Emmanuel, I see people who love each other and take pride in their shared history," she added.
There were 27 members when Alyssa came and there are now four more, with some joining when Westminster Presbyterian closed in the West Central Spokane neighborhood.
It's mostly older adults with several middle-aged adults and three children. The oldest member is 99.
"In the 1960s it was one of the area's biggest Presbyterian churches," she explained. "When I came, they were concerned they might have to close but were committed to staying open. It's a faithful congregation who give their time and resources."
Most members once lived in and continue to have roots in the neighborhood, which has a mix of renters and homeowners, but many have moved to other parts of town.
"We discerned about our space and what God had for us by listening to the community and making updates to the building for new uses," said Alyssa.
For 35 years, the Northwest Parent Co-op Preschool has rented the basement as a long-term, continuing tenant that provides a much-needed service to the community.
In 2024, Emmanuel rented the sanctuary to Christ the King, a church plant from Life Center, which has since moved to a new location. Now Foundation Church, an Open Bible Church, uses the fellowship hall.
"We used part of our funds to make the fellowship hall, which has a spacious stage, more usable for that church and the preschool. We painted the walls and replaced the carpeting," she said. "We also plan to upgrade the side entrance into the fellowship hall so more people use that entrance rather than going through the sanctuary.
"It's good to have a dedicated entry to the community space," Alyssa said.
Foundation Church's 70 members and children use the fellowship hall for worship at 9:30 a.m. Sundays. Emmanuel's worship is at 10:30 a.m., while Foundation has their coffee hour. After its service, Foundation has left and Emmanuel members have a coffee hour.
Emmanuel also plans to improve the fellowship hall and its stage so that groups like the Spokane Alliance will come for meetings and performances. It will upgrade the tech and AV system in the sanctuary for its own and others' use in worship and giving presentations.
"Regardless of how the building is used, we are committed to having it be a sacred space for music and worship," she said. "We are unapologetically a church opening our door to the community."
Alyssa said she, her husband and daughters are members of the choir, which sings classical to contemporary songs.
"I love music. It's how I express faith. I love the way music makes me feel and relax," she said. "Choir practice is often emotionally uplifting. As we practice, the music becomes part of us, so through practice a piece becomes a beautiful song to share.
"The theological impact of music is not just in lyrics but also in how music makes us feel," she explained.
Alyssa also listed several other ways Emmanuel Presbyterian is active in the neighborhood and world.
• It donates to Our Place neighborhood ministry and has a member on the board.
• Three times a year, it collects gifts for Audubon Elementary School—school supplies in the fall, hats, gloves, leggings and sweatpants in the winter, and gifts to give children at Christmas. Foundation Church now joins in this effort.
• After Westminster Food Bank closed, the church began giving the food it collects to the Caritas Food Bank.
• Emmanuel also connects with national and world outreach through four offerings to the Presbyterian Church (USA): One Great Hour of Sharing for hunger and disaster relief, the Peace and Global Witness offering for peacemaking and reconciliation work, the Pentecost Offering for children and youth at risk, and the Christmas Joy offering to support past, present and future church leaders.
"It helps us feel connected to wider needs," said Alyssa.
For information, call 326-1252, email office@emmanuelpres-spokane.org or visit emmanuelpres-spokane.org
Copyright@ The Fig Tree, February 2026
Soon after Alyssa Bell began as half-time minister at Emmanuel Presbyterian Church in February 2023, the church joined the Ezra 3 Project of the Presbytery of the Inland Northwest (PIN), as part of a multi-year $800,000 Lilly Endowment Thriving Congregations Initiative grant.
Emmanuel, a 31-member church that considers itself "small but mighty" brought confidence from that belief into participating in an Ezra 3 Project cohort with four other Presbyterian churches of fewer than 50 members. Those churches are Lidgerwood, Spirit Lake, Reardan and Korean Presbyterian.
Committed to serving its neighbors in the Emerson Garfield and West Central neighborhoods and committed to continuing as a church, Emmanuel Presbyterian joined the other small churches in their cohort who share those commitments. They explored how to use $10,000 seed money from the Ezra Project to make improvements in their building to meet community needs.
They engaged in a study on the theme, "Rooted Good," to discern ways to steward their spaces for the good of the community, such as finding other people and groups to use their buildings to gain an additional stream of income without losing their identity as a church.
"We have learned from each other. Despite differences in our buildings and congregations, we have commonalities. We have talked about what works and what does not work. We have learned that we are not alone and God is working in our places," said Alyssa.
The process also includes churches meeting with neighbors to help them as a church discover new uses for their properties both to have an impact in their community and to help their churches thrive as they do that.
"I have been drawn to love the community and humanity of the local church," said Alyssa, whose ability to serve half-time and support her family frees her to lead the church to solidify its income so it can continue to be a sacred space and to serve their neighbors.
She also works as a certified spiritual director and as an adjunct instructor at Portland Seminary and Whitworth University. Her husband, Matthew Bell, teaches computer science at Whitworth.
Alyssa's journey to this ministry began when she grew up in Shadle Park Presbyterian Church two miles north of Emmanuel. She studied theology and music at Whitworth, where she earned a bachelor's degree in 2005. While serving next as director of music at Mountain View Presbyterian in Marysville, Wash., she confirmed her call to ministry and began seminary at Fuller Northwest Extension at Seattle Pacific University.
In 2009, she started at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary, earning a master of divinity degree in 2011 before moving back to Spokane.
Alyssa started as music director at Community Presbyterian in Post Falls and then she and Matthew served as co-associate ministers at Shadle Park and Community Presbyterian. Working part-time, she completed a doctor of ministry in leadership and spiritual formation online with Portland Seminary in 2021.
Those studies not only provided the path to teaching but also give her insights needed in the ministry at Emmanuel Presbyterian.
"It matters to be in community in a local church. It's what we are to be as disciples of Christ," she said.
For Alyssa, the key strengths of Emmanuel Presbyterian is its mix of theological and political beliefs, and the commitment of members to be a faith community that is journeying together through their lives.
"At Emmanuel, I see people who love each other and take pride in their shared history," she added.
There were 27 members when Alyssa came and there are now four more, with some joining when Westminster Presbyterian closed in the West Central Spokane neighborhood.
It's mostly older adults with several middle-aged adults and three children. The oldest member is 99.
"In the 1960s it was one of the area's biggest Presbyterian churches," she explained. "When I came, they were concerned they might have to close but were committed to staying open. It's a faithful congregation who give their time and resources."
Most members once lived in and continue to have roots in the neighborhood, which has a mix of renters and homeowners, but many have moved to other parts of town.
"We discerned about our space and what God had for us by listening to the community and making updates to the building for new uses," said Alyssa.
For 35 years, the Northwest Parent Co-op Preschool has rented the basement as a long-term, continuing tenant that provides a much-needed service to the community.
In 2024, Emmanuel rented the sanctuary to Christ the King, a church plant from Life Center, which has since moved to a new location. Now Foundation Church, an Open Bible Church, uses the fellowship hall.
"We used part of our funds to make the fellowship hall, which has a spacious stage, more usable for that church and the preschool. We painted the walls and replaced the carpeting," she said. "We also plan to upgrade the side entrance into the fellowship hall so more people use that entrance rather than going through the sanctuary.
"It's good to have a dedicated entry to the community space," Alyssa said.
Foundation Church's 70 members and children use the fellowship hall for worship at 9:30 a.m. Sundays. Emmanuel's worship is at 10:30 a.m., while Foundation has their coffee hour. After its service, Foundation has left and Emmanuel members have a coffee hour.
Emmanuel also plans to improve the fellowship hall and its stage so that groups like the Spokane Alliance will come for meetings and performances. It will upgrade the tech and AV system in the sanctuary for its own and others' use in worship and giving presentations.
"Regardless of how the building is used, we are committed to having it be a sacred space for music and worship," she said. "We are unapologetically a church opening our door to the community."
Alyssa said she, her husband and daughters are members of the choir, which sings classical to contemporary songs.
"I love music. It's how I express faith. I love the way music makes me feel and relax," she said. "Choir practice is often emotionally uplifting. As we practice, the music becomes part of us, so through practice a piece becomes a beautiful song to share.
"The theological impact of music is not just in lyrics but also in how music makes us feel," she explained.
Alyssa also listed several other ways Emmanuel Presbyterian is active in the neighborhood and world.
• It donates to Our Place neighborhood ministry and has a member on the board.
• Three times a year, it collects gifts for Audubon Elementary School—school supplies in the fall, hats, gloves, leggings and sweatpants in the winter, and gifts to give children at Christmas. Foundation Church now joins in this effort.
• After Westminster Food Bank closed, the church began giving the food it collects to the Caritas Food Bank.
• Emmanuel also connects with national and world outreach through four offerings to the Presbyterian Church (USA): One Great Hour of Sharing for hunger and disaster relief, the Peace and Global Witness offering for peacemaking and reconciliation work, the Pentecost Offering for children and youth at risk, and the Christmas Joy offering to support past, present and future church leaders.
"It helps us feel connected to wider needs," said Alyssa.
For information, call 326-1252, email office@emmanuelpres-spokane.org or visit emmanuelpres-spokane.org
Copyright@ The Fig Tree, February 2026
Spokane Favs October 30, 2023
Read the full article here: https://spokanefavs.com/new-book-guides-women-pastors-on-spiritual-care-while-raising-children/
Alyssa Bell and her book "Calm and Quiet My Soul: A Holistic Approach to Spiritual Care for the Mothering Pastor" / Contributed
News Story by Nina Culver | FāVS News
October 30, 2023
The Rev. Alyssa Bell of Emmanuel Presbyterian Church has just published a book aimed at supporting women pastors who are juggling ministerial work while also raising children.
Titled “Calm and Quiet My Soul: A Holistic Approach to Spiritual Care,” the book encourages those filling the dual roles of pastor and mother to take care of themselves in addition to caring for others. The book is based in part on Bell’s personal experience as a mother and a pastor.
Limited Resources for Pastors Who Are MothersBell was working as a musical director in a church in Marysville, Washington, when she began taking seminary classes.
“I enjoyed the academic work and really felt called to walk with people in a pastoral capacity,” she said.
After going through a discernment process she graduated from Pittsburgh Theological Seminary. As she started her pastoral work, she had a 2-year-old and had also had several miscarriages.
“I was very much in the mix of parenting and grief,” she said.
Her spiritual director, a person she still meets with regularly, and a small support group gave her the spiritual and emotional care she needed to move forward, Bell said. It was that experience that led her to explore the spiritual care of women pastors for her doctoral dissertation.
That dissertation, which granted her a doctorate of ministry in leadership and spiritual formation from Portland Theological Seminary, became her book.
Bell said she recognizes that not everyone has the support that she did.
“It has been my experience that it is unique,” she said. “There are a lot of pastors who are mothers, but I don’t see a lot of resources for them as a group. I wanted to explore that in my dissertation.”
God as a Mother FigureIn her book Bell asks people to consider God as a mother figure, as portions of the Bible depict God as both a comforter and a fierce protector.
“The Biblical and theological image of God as a mother can provide unique comfort and strength for pastors who are also mothers,” she said.
Bell said she knows that this message of God as mother may not be helpful to some, particularly those who have had a challenging relationship with their own mother.
“For some women, considering God as a mother is an unhelpful image because of their relationship with their mother,” she said. “I know this is not universal.”
One of the key suggestions that Bell makes in her book is for pastors to find a spiritual director, someone who they can have unfettered conversations about faith with. Even pastors need a pastor.
“To be vulnerable with someone if you need spiritual or pastoral care takes courage,” she said. “It takes the right person to talk to.”
Having a spiritual director is something that often happens organically rather than institutionally, Bell said. She was lucky enough to find someone to speak to about her faith, a person who is involved in ministry but is not an ordained pastor. She meets with her spiritual director monthly.
“It is the safe spiritual place for me to ask questions, to grieve, to rejoice,” she said.
Bell’s Book InspirationalThe Rev. Susan Rose heads up Diakonos Solutions, a non-profit organization that mentors women in ministry. She said the message in Bell’s book spoke to her.
“It felt very affirming as a woman and mother in ministry,” she said. “She was speaking a language no one had had ever spoken before. It just felt affirming to be seen.”
Bell’s message of self-care for women pastors also struck a chord.
“She hits a real tender spot in that mothers tend to pour themselves out and ministers tend to pour themselves out,” Rose said. “How do you maintain your spiritual equilibrium?
“I don’t think anything else has been written like this. I liked that Alyssa is theologically grounded and historically grounded and Biblically grounded all together.”
Just recently the number of women pastors in the Presbyterian faith passed 50%, Rose said, making Bell’s book all the more important.
“It’s more important to hear those voices,” she said. “She is an important voice for women pastors.”
The ChallengesMatters of faith aside, it can be mentally and physically challenging to fill the roles of pastor and mother at once. There are the pastoral emergencies that call a pastor away on holidays or during other family time. A sick child can disrupt office work. It can also be difficult to juggle child care when there are late night or weekend pastoral emergencies.
“I’ve been known to bring my kids to visit people in nursing homes,” she said.
Bell said her husband supports her and she also has family in the area to call on if needed.
“It is practically challenging,” she said. “Even though it is a challenge, I feel called to be both a mother and a pastor.”
Rose said she found Bell’s book very actionable, with concrete suggestions to assist pastors who are mothers. She said she believes the message in the book would also speak to lay women.
Rose said that while her children are grown now, she’s been recommending Bell’s book to young mothers in ministry.
“I wish I had had that book 15 years ago,” she said. “I wish I had that book when my children were smaller. I wish I had that book when I was first starting out.”
“Calm and Quiet My Soul” is available on Amazon and at bookshop.org.
Nina Culver is a freelance journalist and North Idaho native who has called Spokane home for the last 30 years. She started working at The Spokesman-Review in 1995 as a work study intern while still a journalism student at Gonzaga University and stuck around for the next 22 years, covering everything from religion to crime. She has an adult daughter and two grandsons who keep her hopping and if she has any free time she likes to read.
Titled “Calm and Quiet My Soul: A Holistic Approach to Spiritual Care,” the book encourages those filling the dual roles of pastor and mother to take care of themselves in addition to caring for others. The book is based in part on Bell’s personal experience as a mother and a pastor.
Limited Resources for Pastors Who Are MothersBell was working as a musical director in a church in Marysville, Washington, when she began taking seminary classes.
“I enjoyed the academic work and really felt called to walk with people in a pastoral capacity,” she said.
After going through a discernment process she graduated from Pittsburgh Theological Seminary. As she started her pastoral work, she had a 2-year-old and had also had several miscarriages.
“I was very much in the mix of parenting and grief,” she said.
Her spiritual director, a person she still meets with regularly, and a small support group gave her the spiritual and emotional care she needed to move forward, Bell said. It was that experience that led her to explore the spiritual care of women pastors for her doctoral dissertation.
That dissertation, which granted her a doctorate of ministry in leadership and spiritual formation from Portland Theological Seminary, became her book.
Bell said she recognizes that not everyone has the support that she did.
“It has been my experience that it is unique,” she said. “There are a lot of pastors who are mothers, but I don’t see a lot of resources for them as a group. I wanted to explore that in my dissertation.”
God as a Mother FigureIn her book Bell asks people to consider God as a mother figure, as portions of the Bible depict God as both a comforter and a fierce protector.
“The Biblical and theological image of God as a mother can provide unique comfort and strength for pastors who are also mothers,” she said.
Bell said she knows that this message of God as mother may not be helpful to some, particularly those who have had a challenging relationship with their own mother.
“For some women, considering God as a mother is an unhelpful image because of their relationship with their mother,” she said. “I know this is not universal.”
One of the key suggestions that Bell makes in her book is for pastors to find a spiritual director, someone who they can have unfettered conversations about faith with. Even pastors need a pastor.
“To be vulnerable with someone if you need spiritual or pastoral care takes courage,” she said. “It takes the right person to talk to.”
Having a spiritual director is something that often happens organically rather than institutionally, Bell said. She was lucky enough to find someone to speak to about her faith, a person who is involved in ministry but is not an ordained pastor. She meets with her spiritual director monthly.
“It is the safe spiritual place for me to ask questions, to grieve, to rejoice,” she said.
Bell’s Book InspirationalThe Rev. Susan Rose heads up Diakonos Solutions, a non-profit organization that mentors women in ministry. She said the message in Bell’s book spoke to her.
“It felt very affirming as a woman and mother in ministry,” she said. “She was speaking a language no one had had ever spoken before. It just felt affirming to be seen.”
Bell’s message of self-care for women pastors also struck a chord.
“She hits a real tender spot in that mothers tend to pour themselves out and ministers tend to pour themselves out,” Rose said. “How do you maintain your spiritual equilibrium?
“I don’t think anything else has been written like this. I liked that Alyssa is theologically grounded and historically grounded and Biblically grounded all together.”
Just recently the number of women pastors in the Presbyterian faith passed 50%, Rose said, making Bell’s book all the more important.
“It’s more important to hear those voices,” she said. “She is an important voice for women pastors.”
The ChallengesMatters of faith aside, it can be mentally and physically challenging to fill the roles of pastor and mother at once. There are the pastoral emergencies that call a pastor away on holidays or during other family time. A sick child can disrupt office work. It can also be difficult to juggle child care when there are late night or weekend pastoral emergencies.
“I’ve been known to bring my kids to visit people in nursing homes,” she said.
Bell said her husband supports her and she also has family in the area to call on if needed.
“It is practically challenging,” she said. “Even though it is a challenge, I feel called to be both a mother and a pastor.”
Rose said she found Bell’s book very actionable, with concrete suggestions to assist pastors who are mothers. She said she believes the message in the book would also speak to lay women.
Rose said that while her children are grown now, she’s been recommending Bell’s book to young mothers in ministry.
“I wish I had had that book 15 years ago,” she said. “I wish I had that book when my children were smaller. I wish I had that book when I was first starting out.”
“Calm and Quiet My Soul” is available on Amazon and at bookshop.org.
Nina Culver is a freelance journalist and North Idaho native who has called Spokane home for the last 30 years. She started working at The Spokesman-Review in 1995 as a work study intern while still a journalism student at Gonzaga University and stuck around for the next 22 years, covering everything from religion to crime. She has an adult daughter and two grandsons who keep her hopping and if she has any free time she likes to read.
Spokesman-Review June 26, 2023
Read the full article here: https://www.spokesman.com/stories/2023/jun/26/wrapped-in-love-heritage-infant-memorial-quilting-/
Wrapped in Love: Heritage Infant Memorial Quilting Club brings a touch of beauty to devastating moment
By Cindy Hval, Spokesman-Review
Photos by Dan Pelle/Spokesman-Review
Members of the Emmanuel Presbyterian Church Quilters, from left, Noel Kafton, Joyce Miller, Kristin Cejka, Sue Burford, Annette Drennen, of Heritage Funeral & Cremation, and Lorelee Bauer, gather to show some of the memorial and keepsake quilts they made for the Infant Memorial Quilting Club on June 14. Heritage Funeral Home provides burial services for many of the youngest in Spokane County. Quilters provide quilts to wrap children in for burial or viewing.
The loss of a child is something no family is prepared for. Making decisions about funerals and memorials can feel impossible in the face of such grief.
In Spokane, Heritage Funeral and Cremation provides the majority of infant and children’s services.
“We offer services at no charge for children up to age six,” said Heritage location manager Jen Melberg.
The services don’t include casket, urn, or burial plot but do cover cremation, viewing and memorial service. They also offer deep discounts for services for children aged 7 to 17.
Funeral director Annette Drennen came to Heritage in 2020 and looked for a way to offer comfort to devastated families.
“When babies come into our care, they often arrive in hospital receiving blankets,” she said.
The standard blue-and pink-striped blankets seemed unsubstantial and impersonal to her.
“I’m a quilter,” she said. “Last year, I started a quilt program at Heritage and a Facebook group, and then I told every person I saw about it.”
She wanted to offer parents the option to choose a handmade quilt to wrap their infant or child in for the viewing, burial, or cremation.
“Sometimes moms hold their babies for the first time here,” Drennen said. “I thought we can make it easier.”
Quilts provided by the Infant Memorial Quilting Club come in three sizes and include a matching keepsake quilt block.
“The quilts stay with the babies; the quilt squares go home with the parents,” she said.
Drennen also initiated new options for families to see their child at the funeral home.
“We got a crib, a bassinette, a rocking chair, a Moses basket and a toddler bed,” she said. “Often when they see the child in the crib, they will ask to hold them.”
The quilting community in Spokane responded. Many joined the monthly quilt group that meets at Heritage, and other individuals and groups quilt elsewhere and bring their blankets to the funeral home.
Quilters from Emmanuel Presbyterian Church recently delivered several quilts.
Lorelee Bauer smoothed a tiny quilt made by their group.
“Some are hand-stitched, some are machine stitched,” she said. “I love that we found a use for small pieces of fabric. For me, doing this work in community is very different than doing it in my home. We try to have all of our group touch the fabric.”
Joyce Miller agreed.
“This is one of the times that it takes a village.”
The women are aware of the little ones their quilts may someday enfold.
“There are tears when we are sewing,” Sue Burford said.
When Drennen meets with grieving parents, she explains the quilting program. If they’re interested, she asks them about their child. Did you have a name picked out? A nursery color or theme?
Then she brings an appropriate selection of quilts for the parent to choose from.
Since October, when the program launched, 85 quilts have been donated and 25 have been selected by families. Drennen keeps a scrapbook of quilt photos denoting when an item was donated and when it was chosen.
The quilters looked at the recent donations, admiring hand-tied quilts and sighing over teddy bear prints. The coverings come in all colors and patterns, including one with whimsical baby hippos.
It’s heartbreaking to contemplate the need for such a program, but the statistics are stark.
Melberg said in 2022, Heritage donated $224,843 worth of services for 104 children under 6.
“We currently see about five families a week,” she said.
She’s witnessed the impact of the quilt program.
“We have moms come in with stillborns who say no one has acknowledged their loss.”
She said other moms are overwhelmed when they see the quilts because they’re so touched that someone loved their baby enough to sew for them.
Drennen expressed appreciation for the quilters in Spokane who’ve taken on this project as a way of showing compassion to hurting families.
“This is sometimes the first chance for parents to hold their babies, but it’s always the last chance,” said Drennen. “We are showing grieving families love when they most need it.”
Contact Cindy Hval at dchval@juno.com
In Spokane, Heritage Funeral and Cremation provides the majority of infant and children’s services.
“We offer services at no charge for children up to age six,” said Heritage location manager Jen Melberg.
The services don’t include casket, urn, or burial plot but do cover cremation, viewing and memorial service. They also offer deep discounts for services for children aged 7 to 17.
Funeral director Annette Drennen came to Heritage in 2020 and looked for a way to offer comfort to devastated families.
“When babies come into our care, they often arrive in hospital receiving blankets,” she said.
The standard blue-and pink-striped blankets seemed unsubstantial and impersonal to her.
“I’m a quilter,” she said. “Last year, I started a quilt program at Heritage and a Facebook group, and then I told every person I saw about it.”
She wanted to offer parents the option to choose a handmade quilt to wrap their infant or child in for the viewing, burial, or cremation.
“Sometimes moms hold their babies for the first time here,” Drennen said. “I thought we can make it easier.”
Quilts provided by the Infant Memorial Quilting Club come in three sizes and include a matching keepsake quilt block.
“The quilts stay with the babies; the quilt squares go home with the parents,” she said.
Drennen also initiated new options for families to see their child at the funeral home.
“We got a crib, a bassinette, a rocking chair, a Moses basket and a toddler bed,” she said. “Often when they see the child in the crib, they will ask to hold them.”
The quilting community in Spokane responded. Many joined the monthly quilt group that meets at Heritage, and other individuals and groups quilt elsewhere and bring their blankets to the funeral home.
Quilters from Emmanuel Presbyterian Church recently delivered several quilts.
Lorelee Bauer smoothed a tiny quilt made by their group.
“Some are hand-stitched, some are machine stitched,” she said. “I love that we found a use for small pieces of fabric. For me, doing this work in community is very different than doing it in my home. We try to have all of our group touch the fabric.”
Joyce Miller agreed.
“This is one of the times that it takes a village.”
The women are aware of the little ones their quilts may someday enfold.
“There are tears when we are sewing,” Sue Burford said.
When Drennen meets with grieving parents, she explains the quilting program. If they’re interested, she asks them about their child. Did you have a name picked out? A nursery color or theme?
Then she brings an appropriate selection of quilts for the parent to choose from.
Since October, when the program launched, 85 quilts have been donated and 25 have been selected by families. Drennen keeps a scrapbook of quilt photos denoting when an item was donated and when it was chosen.
The quilters looked at the recent donations, admiring hand-tied quilts and sighing over teddy bear prints. The coverings come in all colors and patterns, including one with whimsical baby hippos.
It’s heartbreaking to contemplate the need for such a program, but the statistics are stark.
Melberg said in 2022, Heritage donated $224,843 worth of services for 104 children under 6.
“We currently see about five families a week,” she said.
She’s witnessed the impact of the quilt program.
“We have moms come in with stillborns who say no one has acknowledged their loss.”
She said other moms are overwhelmed when they see the quilts because they’re so touched that someone loved their baby enough to sew for them.
Drennen expressed appreciation for the quilters in Spokane who’ve taken on this project as a way of showing compassion to hurting families.
“This is sometimes the first chance for parents to hold their babies, but it’s always the last chance,” said Drennen. “We are showing grieving families love when they most need it.”
Contact Cindy Hval at dchval@juno.com